I wanted to talk to the Siberian man about what he said last time. We were sitting on a beach, in the sand. It was late afternoon, the evening wasn’t born yet, I knew the sun couldn’t have set, there was too much light, but I could not actually see it anywhere. I didn’t see the sea, either, though I could hear the waves, and feel the salty vapour on my skin. We must have been very close, and yet, I couldn’t see the water…
The Siberian man was sitting next to me, but he was a bit blurred and glowing around the edges, as if there was very thick fog around him…
And I asked him, “What did you mean last time about the element earth mistaking itself for the shape it takes, that this threatens the flexibility of perspective?”
“Perception is the womb of feelings. It is the womb of thoughts. It is the womb of intuition. Perception is Being… Try and just sense things…”
He asked me to lift up my hand and close my eyes. He was stroking my palm, it felt like light electricity. Next, I was floating in warm water, it entered my body through my right fingertips, circulated within and left through the other hand. Then I was out of the water, and a cool summer breeze was stroking my skin… I could feel memories gathering around me, but I decided to keep them away, I wanted to be in the here and now.
“Emotions are bridges” the Siberian man said, “they connect the present with the past. Feeling is remembering. However powerful emotions are, you must flow with the here and now when you remember, don’t let yourself be transported and stuck somewhere else. Otherwise there is never a here and now. You always only half-perceive, you fill in the rest with feelings, thoughts and intuition. You must try to perceive as raw as you can, stay with it, don’t take leaps. You think you know how to perceive, but instead of being aware of the here and now, you try to freeze in time the things you are experiencing, because you want to grab and understand them, to hold onto them, you want to be able to go back and analyse them… but how can you perceive something that is not here? That is no perception…”
“But what if I see or hear something that cannot be?”
“Perceive now, mistrust later”, he shrugged, with a naughty smile.